“I don’t gossip.” “That’s not gossiping.” “I just discuss.” “I just heard them talk.”
People make such revelations to feign a stature, and the silent ones who tacitly enjoy gossips, feign a greater stature after all who likes to be called a rumormonger?
Yet the truth is we all gossip, rarely being the subject of a gossip and most of the times contributing generously to them. The iota of rarity in being the subject of a gossip is based on my presumption that not all of us are that popular or notorious!
In today’s egalitarian world, gossips are not the forte of women alone. Men are fast catching up, especially when it’s such a pity if one is not a part of a boisterous gossip gang, discussing on multifarious topics be it gals, guys, gadgets or guns.
Gone are the days when gossips meant housewives/ daughter-in-laws carping in the balcony/ kitchen about their hubbies or in-laws, conspiring against each other or fomenting trouble by turning one brother/neighbor against the other. Thank the TV soaps which have coined elitist terms for such rendezvous like “kitty parties”, “kafee klatsch” (Which in a lay man’s language is a gossip enjoyed by housewives over a cup of coffee. What a complex term to describe something so silly!!).
Technology has enabled gossips. Even with illusive tight schedules and deadly deadlines, one can’t always afford to show how free one is by whiling away time in the cafeteria or relaxation room. And here is where like the God sent messenger, the office communicator/messenger is a humble contribution to all officialdoms. Thanksgiving Day isn’t enough to thank this holy communicator which helps one stay connected, break away the monotony of work and even boredom of no work. So by setting one’s status to ‘busy’ or warning ‘dare not disturb ‘,one can continue group chats, express glyphic emotions and nobody will doubt that one is a rumormonger!! (Note: I chose to use the reference “one” since references like you, we etc. might sound personalJ).
Gossips are enabled by virtue of being the talk of the town, technology and one’s natural instinct to prattle. But at times one knowingly becomes the epicenter of a gossip. It happens due to semblance. I call this pseudo-characterization. To exemplify, sham smartness by modulating one’s tone, accent or even attitude.
A hypothesis of inadvertently becoming a gossip subject is the exaggeration-effect. One may have been fired at a meeting by the Lead, or it maybe have been that rare occasion where one retaliated meekly in a one on one meeting, but later on there are different interpretations to hear for e.g. “Lead was just charging at me but I simply gave-back”. All are stunned, awing that person, wondering how it may have happened…… The narrator feels glorious by the exaggeration and then the issue snowballs as the word passes around that he/she gave back. The Lead of course has a different experience to share with his/her contemporaries! Ultimately who was at the giving end and who at the receiving end only the 4 walls of the meeting room know!! (The walls of every office know what no one knows.)
Another example of exaggerating one’s grandeur or prowess is defence personnel’s gossips. Propitious gossip mood is induced one peck after another. The repetitive insipid stories sound exciting due to the novelty in narration. “In the year 1966……”, “I tell you chap…”, “I just fired that ….”, “I said checkmate…” the list is endless. Their narration of killing a wild pig in a hunting expedition will appear like having killed a tiger in a bloody battle!
Who doesn’t want to be a larger than life icon, and corollary men gossip as much (or maybe more) as women do.
If technologies like SMS, MMS, messenger, emails are gossip enablers, word of mouth is the most formidable enabler and hence coffee shops, smoking zones, pubs and social parties are most conducive for gossips. Remarkably the government organizations being the largest employers are the largest gossip producers; as files keep piling, gossips keeps pouring since technology has lesser reach here compared to the gossips!
Let’s reckon that gossips let us vent out and feel light but it is bad when there is overt misrepresentation of facts, attempts to defame people or corner someone. We can’t define gossip ethics but we can certainly play it safe. Avoid gossiping in public places especially in company transport and if it is unavoidable, use code words or alias names.
So, do you gossip………??
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